Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Randomize
