just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
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