I'm so fucking centered right now
I accidentally burped into my bong.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Randomize
