The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
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