of course. lets lasso hookers.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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