we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
