How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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