Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
