I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
