Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Randomize
