I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
The air taste purple.
Randomize
