my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
