Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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