reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Randomize
