Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize