It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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