Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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