well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Randomize