My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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