My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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