Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Everclear isn't food dammit
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
