he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
