I love black thongs
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
