i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Randomize
