the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
