just tell him i said nine months
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
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