we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
Randomize