I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
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