I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize