so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
