how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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