All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Is that strawberry winking at me??
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
