And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Randomize
