I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Randomize
