i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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