He is an equal opportunity slut.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
