you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Randomize
