On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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