New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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