Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
