yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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