I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
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