you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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