Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
The cops high fived after they tackled you
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
