Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize
