I must be too annoying 4 u.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Randomize
