Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Randomize
