After last night, I could never be a politician.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
