check it out our google latitudes are spooning
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
barbara walters just said penis...
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
