How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
