Nicole vs. Life
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
