When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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