i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Randomize
