1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Randomize