i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
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