I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
only you would photoshop your dick
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
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