I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
