i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Randomize
