imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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