Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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