All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
