I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Randomize
